koan |ˈkōän| noun – a paradoxical anecdote or riddle, used in Zen Buddhism to demonstrate the inadequacy of logical reasoning and to provoke enlightenment.
[This is informed by the bizarre life events of Richard Simmons, a modern day koan]
“One day Kochibin saw a strange man exiting an L.A. Walgreens and was struck by his appearance: His hair resembled desiccated Hakonechola (Japanese Forest Grass) and his gait reminded him of an aged serow (Japanese goat-antelope) meandering down a rocky bluff as he dug his cane into the sidewalk to help steady himself. He knew that this man had come out of the great “Dream Box” (television) where bound souls were banished and forced to pay off their karmic debts, and so he followed “Hako-Kun” (Japanese honorific title) to a big white house, where he would emerge after weeks, again with the white cane and the odd, knowing smile. Hako-Kun eventually emerged weeks later, with doctors and personal assistants, and was ushered away to a hospital, where he was treated for severe indigestion. Depending on which Hako-Kun you looked at, you caught a glimpse of a different slice of humanity: The clown whose theatrics are monetized for public consumption, and the wounded hermit who retreats into a universe of his own making, becoming trapped.
On returning from his journey to the healing center, Hako-Kun had a party with blow up giraffes and was served by musclebound waiters wearing backless chaps and struck a gong inside his garden for all the world to hear.